28-year-old refuses to let newlywed sister and her husband stay at her apartment for 3 weeks and rearrange her furniture: 'She wants me to adjust my lifestyle for them as a couple'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 14, 2024 1:00 PM EST

It's important to be careful with the people you let stay in your house rent-free. If my parents needed to stay with me when they got too old to live alone, I'd accept them with open arms. But aging parents or your children are very different dependents than able-bodied young adult family members. There's definitely nuance to this issue. A young post-grad living with his parents while working to save on rent money is very different than a 30-year-old unemployed guy living with his brother, playing video games all day and eating him out of house and home. Spotting a potential leech before they move in with you is essential because it's much harder to kick somebody out than to say no initially. 

A woman recently took to Reddit for advice regarding her sister and her husband; they are demanding that she rearrange her life after they move into her place for 3 weeks. Many in the comment section suspected they were planning on staying much longer than three weeks. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10428129536
    via Toa Heftiba

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to let my sister stay with me after she got married and demanded I "adjust" my lifestyle for her husband?
    via u/daiyu16
  • 03
    Okay, so I (28F) have a pretty established routine. I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment, and while I'm not a "neat freak," I like my space to be organized and have a certain vibe to it (think minimalist, calm, and quiet). My sister (30F) recently got married to this guy (31M) who I barely know. They live about 3 hours away, and since their wedding a month ago, she's been asking to stay with me for a few weeks. Normally, I'd be fine with it — I love my sister - but there's a catch.
    via u/daiyu16
  • 04
    When I agreed, she dropped the bomb that she's bringing her husband with her. Apparently, he "doesn't feel comfortable being alone" for extended periods, so she wants me to "adjust" my lifestyle for them as a couple. This means rearranging my apartment for them, having "quiet hours" during the day because he works from home, and no longer playing music or hosting friends when they're around. Oh, and she suggested I stop using the guest room for my own "hobbies," which is how I unwind after work.
    via u/daiyu16
  • 05
    I told her I wasn't comfortable with that, especially since I don't even know her husband that well and wasn't planning on making my home into a mini hotel or daycare for them. She got super upset, called me selfish, and said it's just for a couple of weeks. But I'm really not okay with it - I feel like I would be giving up a lot of my personal space and peace of mind just for her convenience. Now, she's threatening not to visit at all, and I'm feeling guilty but also like she's overstepping. So
    via u/daiyu16
  • 06
    Buttered_Crumpet09 NTA. Something fishy is going on here. Why would they expect you to rearrange your apartment, move out your hobby stuff, and basically change everything for them just for a few weeks? This sounds more like a case of, "We need somewhere to stay but know we'll be told no, so we'll 'visit' for a few weeks, and then OP won't be able to get rid of us because she'll be leaving us homeless, so we can stay for longer and longer until OP has to evict us or accepts that this is our home
    via u/Buttered_Crumpet09
  • 07
    And even if it isn't that, who the h_I as a guest asks someone to rearrange everything for them? My cousin has stayed at my house a lot and not once has he demanded that I rearrange everything for him. Either your sister and her husband are and demanding guests, or they're and demanding mooches trying to con their way into your home. Either way, say no. It will only end badly.
    via u/Buttered_Crumpet09
  • 08
    TwoCentsWorth2021 The only excuse I can see for a guest to ask for a (brief) rearrangement is if they either have an infant and need a space in the guest room for a cradle or they have a walker/wheelchair and need maneuvering room. Obviously neither applies here. I agree with everyone suggesting that the sister is trying to move in and take over OP's apartment.
    via u/TwoCentsWorth2021
  • 09
    ReflexionSolutions Exactly. Be a guest for long time if you need, but rearranging everything?? I get reducing noise for some hours if the guy has to work, but that's about it. Outside of those low noise work hours, having friends and music shouldn't be a problem, it's her house afterall.
    via u/ReflexionSolutions
  • 10
    Buttered_Crumpet09 Oh, the bit that caught my eye was them telling OP to stop using the guest room for hobbies. Now, why would OP need to do that unless Mr and Mrs Mooch are planning to make that guest room theirs? Don't get me wrong, we call the big spare room my cousin's room, but he'd never ask me to move my hobby stuff out of there unless he was planning to move his stuff in.
    via u/Buttered_Crumpet09
  • 11
    • Burn420Account69 1d ago • It sounds like she wants to move in and live with you rent free while, not really, searching for a place to live. NTA. Your sisters ks.
    via u/Burn420Account69
  • 12
    Sea-Leadership-8053 Sounds like they got evicted and have decided to take over ops home
    via u/Sea-Leadership-8053
  • 13
    im-so-spa Yes. It's very suspicious for a newlywed couple to want a third wheel. Something more is going on here.
    via u/im-so-spa
  • 14
    Agreeable-Inside-632 Is she familiar with the concept of a house guest? Does someone need to explain it her? As the guest, you go out of your way to be unobtrusive as possible and make compromises for the sake of the person giving up their home to you. She's not paying you. Ffs.
    via u/Agreeable-Inside-632
  • 15
    daiyu16 OP thank you everyone, i'm leaning towards kicking both of them out by the end of next week... i may make an update post on this soon.
    via u/daiyu16
  • 16
    elizamonaco They already stay with you?
    via u/elizamonaco
  • 17
    supertwicken NTA. She called you selfish??? Has your sister always been delusional?
    via u/supertwicken
  • 18
    superrm81 Or is the new husband super controlling? Either way NTA You're supposed to be GRATEFUL to people who host you, and try and minimise how much you disrupt them. I'm gobsmacked by the sister's audacity!
    via u/superrm81
  • 19
    TyrannasaurusRecked NTA. Send her a list of local hotels and Air BnB listings.
    via u/TyrannasaurusRecked
  • 20
    Muttley87 And a list of remote working spaces
    via u/Muttley87
  • 21
    MTClarity I spend a good portion of my day helping people legally throw family members out of their personal spaces. Do not allow her in, court fees are expensive.
    via u/MTClarity
  • 22
    BlueGreen 1956 ΝΤΑ "No" is a complete sentence. You are not even to give any reason. required
    via u/BlueGreen_1956

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furniture family drama sisters siblings wife reddit story husband family bedroom sibling sister reddit thread Reddit married couple apartment
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